keep out the stars, turn out the lights

You don't have to guess don't worry I'M GOING TO TELL YOU.

WE WENT TO A READING OF EROTIC FANFICTION IN REDFERN. There were penises everywhere and this lady was trapped in this metal chain thing singing about being a stalker and then there the presenter was this gorgeous man that wore an equally gorgeous blue chiffon dress and then someone wrote and read out a story and the pairing was...

wait for it


are you ready?


It was Tony Abbot/Ya Mum. I am not even kidding right now it was the best thing I have ever heard in my entire life. And she was reading it and she was trying not to laugh at herself and then suddenly, she goes "FLAMING MONGRELS" AND IT WAS ALF STEWART FROM HOME AND AWAY HE MADE A CAMEO IN THE STORY.

I was laughing so hard I was crying.


Like everytime I tell someone this they don't believe me but I swear to god this really happened. We are so definitely going next year, it was the best thing EVER.

Everyone needs to watch this. Wuthering Heights / Kate Nash mash-up. Pretty sure it's going to be impossible to listen to the original Kate Bush song without imagining this video.

Also:
Rude Boy... performed by the Bee Gees
The original version of Beep (later covered by the Pussycat Dolls)

And after having a grand old time singing along to Nicki Minaj (using my crutches as microphones), we started talking about Twilight fanfiction (specifically, why a certain Big Bang had so many Carlisle/Edward pairings) and Emma decided that we needed to write a Twilight fanfiction of our own. Here are her suggestions:

"Okay. So there's Jasper and Rosalie and Emmett. And there's a love triangle. And Jasper and Rosalie are together. AND THEN EMMETT KILLS THEM."


"OR. Rosalie and Jacob are having like. hate-sex, and Rosalie's really into him,  but he's a little in love with Bella still. And Bella and Edward are together. AND THEN ROSALIE KILLS THEM."


She's got a bit of a one-track mind, as you can see :P She seems pretty keen, so keep your eyes out for "EMMETT/ROSALIE KILLS THEM!" the hot new Twilight fanfic!